I’ve always had a huge compulsion to "do" or to "make happen" and it’s very hard for me to just "let be." That strong male energy is always on the look out for new things "to do" that will make things "better" somehow. I respect and I’m grateful for that energy, and I’ve got a lot accomplished in my life because of it. Sometimes, though, I would sincerely like for it to move aside and give the female energy room to just be. The male energy hates to let go of anything, even when it’s perfectly clear that the thing is not going well. I respect and I’m grateful for the dedication and steadfastness of that energy, but I’d like for it to mellow with age and for it to let the female energy take over the wheel sometimes.
I’m working on balancing these two energies within myself, and I’m having some luck, but it’s a hard balance to strike. This society certainly approves of and rewards the driving energy of the male spirit, so it’s hard to find good examples of people living balanced lives. The mindfulness meditation I’ve been practicing is definitely about clearing a place for the feminine to exist but, at this point in my practice, it feels like it’s doing more to point out how unbalanced I am than it is working to help me find a balance.
So, I’m consciously working to create a place in my life where it’s okay to not do anything at all. I’ve been learning to float like a dandelion seed in the wind, letting the breeze carry me where ever it’s headed. Learning to let go of desire and to embrace the spot I find myself in. I’m finding that it takes an awful lot of trust and faith to let the energy of the Universe take me where it wants me to go.
